so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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