I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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