You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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