she woke up with a sticky ear
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
