fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
