Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
