I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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