Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
