There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
