I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize