I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need to align my fucking chakras
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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