I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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