okay pat passed out under dana's car
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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