I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
thus making me awesome and them whores
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
