we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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