Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
