Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my shit smells like andre
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
