i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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