i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
