ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize