Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
