so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
