I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
