I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
