if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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