Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
