i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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