I wanna passion pit in your ass
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
