That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
