I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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