WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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