There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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