I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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