he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
