I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
