Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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