I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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