if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
