So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
