you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
