hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
