Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
