just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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