I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Alive.
So much puke
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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