He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
