Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize