her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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