he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
