all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
