sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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