...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
