this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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