What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think your dad took our porno
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
