it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize