i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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