Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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