It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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