you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
