I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
