I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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