Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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