why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
