what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
