theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
