If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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