remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
