just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You have to summon your inner elephant
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
