So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
