This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize