Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
