Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
