If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
