he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
