so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize