You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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