It was confusing and full of hummus
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
that is very illegal...i love you.
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