similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
