Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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