Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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